just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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