M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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