MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
