He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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