my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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