Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
