We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
