you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
