well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
