So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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