You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
