You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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