I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
