May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think i have herpe
just one?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
