It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
