Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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