i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
