whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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