I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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