Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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