she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
