So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
