his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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