this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
