let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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