she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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