And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
