So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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