I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
