Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
