In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
