Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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