new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
