He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
