I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
