More tranny stories later!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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