what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
