I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
