God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
