You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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