So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize