Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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