White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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