Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
