I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
