Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
