i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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