i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
