i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
