i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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