Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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