paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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