Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I smell stomach acid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
