Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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