he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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