i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
