Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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