you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
