Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize