And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
