dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize