there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize